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I text the article to my childhood best friend, who just moved to New York and dates on Tinder.“It reads like an old person’s fantasy of Tinder,” she immediately writes back. The article advances the idea that Tinder is ruining relationships, intimacy, and possibly all of humanity—because if no one’s looking for love, then eventually we’ll all stop having babies and the human race will go the way of the dodo. In that time, I’ve been on 19 first dates; all but two I met online. I screenshot a picture of a man whose profile says, “I’d like to meet a cool gal that’s a little bit country, a little bit rock n roll, a little bit high maintenance, a little bit gangsta, a little bit comedian, a lot of nerd, a soft voice, nice butt, down to be girly but still do badass stuff involving the outdoors every now and then.”The profile is annoying, overly prescriptive. I keep swiping.“Tinder and the Dawn of the ‘Dating Apocalypse,’” by Nancy Jo Sales, from Vanity Fair’s September magazine, opens with three investment bankers swiping left and right on Tinder in a bar in a fruit fly-like desperation to mate immediately.I will send more pictures on request, I expect answers with impatience and desire. I was told cuddly, friendly, smiling, sexy, elegant, pleasant.

When you reach the stage where you actually want to settle down, it’s time to get serious about your dating methods.

I don’t know if Sales went looking for them or just happened upon them, but she interviewed aspiring Tucker Maxes who treat women as scorecards.

“Something about the whole scenario seems to bother him, despite all his mild-mannered bravado,” Sales writes about Alex, the one who claims he slept with five women in eight days. Back in 2007, The New York Times ran an article titled “The Myth, The Math, the Sex.” In it, reporter Gina Kolata unpacks the substantial difference between the average number of partners that men report and women report (seven for men, four for women, according to a U. study; and 12.7 for men and 6.5 for women, according to a UK study). Every time a heterosexual male has sex with a heterosexual female, that female also has sex. In possibly my favorite scientific explanation ever offered for anything, Dr. We talk about our careers, our artistic side projects, our families.

"It's Katherin Scott, the dating coach." For an instant, I pictured a woman in a baseball cap and cleats, chawing gum in a dugout, but that was just my literal brain at work again.

I knew that dating coaches were one of the newest players to join the looking-for-love lineup, an arbitrary (and upbeat!


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